Weigh-In Wednesday - Lost 3 lbs, 14 lbs. total

239, lost 3 lbs., 14 lbs total lost.
Also took my measurements, which I am tracking monthly:

• Upper Arm: 15 inches, gained 2 inches around my bicep
• that's good, it means the free weights are working
• Chest: 44 inches, lost 3 inches around my chest - excellent!
• Neck: 17.5, lost 1/2 an inch around my neck
• that is good, but I knew it was going to be a small result; I tried on my one-time favorite, every-day worn necklace that used to rest in the hollow of my throat and it was almost like a choker. LOL I thought, "Oh damn, still got some work to do..."
• Waist: 50.5, lost 1.5 inches around my belly -- awesome!
• Calves: 16 inches, lost 1 inch
• my activity level has increased, so I guess my calves were fat.
• Thigh: 25 inches, lost 1 inch off my thighs
• BMI: 31.5, still too high, but that is a 1.9% LOSS, down from 33.4

So, the observation I've been making lately is actually true. I've been noticing that my pants don't ride down as bad the last week or so. My belly is so big it pushes them down unless I cinch my belt until it's painful. I used to do that, but I can't any more. Anyway, the last few days I've noticed a marked drop in how often I have to hitch up my pants, and after I use the bathroom and re-set my wardrobe, I noticed it stays fixed for longer, easier. 

I'm very pleased with that. I hate fidgeting with my clothes all the time. It makes me self-conscious.

Also, reached an awesome Milestone with Weight Watchers, my 5% weight goal, meaning I have lost 5% of my starting weight. 

The reason that screen shot is cropped so high is because I want to celebrate my weight loss and my happiness at the success. However, there was also a warning that I am "losing weight too fast." Weight Watchers doesn't want you to lose more than 2 lbs. / week, and my average is 3.5 lbs a week.

I did go under plan a couple days last week, only ate about half of my points. And I was very hungry the following day both times because of it. However, even that feels kinda good: I have to eat more because my weigh loss is too dramatic. 

Not smoking cigarettes is also going very well. This Friday, October 10th will be 28 days, and I will be moving on to Step 3 with the nicotine patches. 2 more weeks wearing a lower does patch, and then I am technically done with them. At this time, I am feeling I don't care if I wear a nicotine patch the rest of my life, I'm not gonna smoke cigarettes. 

However, it is also getting easier and easier every day. My lifestyle routines are really adapted to not smoking. I am still using my e-cig a little bit. I am going through 1 disposable a week, which is about the equivalent of 1 pack of cigarettes in terms of how long they last. I don't use it at all in the morning, don't even think of it, except as something that has to go in my pocket because I want to use it at the end of my work day. 

I am going to try to go off the patch obviously. But, I might keep some in the house in case I freak out and start considering actually smoking. That's more than 2 weeks away anyway. My body memory of smoking cigarettes is going away really fast, it will be very diminished by then.

I am also feeling like a million bucks. I've got more energy. My house is cleaner. I'm taking better care of my body. I am starting to look forward to exercising instead of it feeling like a chore. I'm so pleased with all of it, I am starting to trust that I am making a lifelong change. It's still all a work in progress, but I'm enjoying doing it.

Goals for next week:

• Stay on plan, including eating enough (oddly enough... LOL)
• Keep working on my physical environment
• I didn't realize how disgusting my house was and I'm busy, so it's taking some time
• Work out 5 days

Weigh In Wednesday

245. I lost 2 lbs. this week.  Lost 8 lbs. total so far.

Had a couple days where I still went over my points. I stayed inside my weekly target though. However, it does matter that I went over daily.

Made some more adjustments to my diet:

• Started eating gluten free bread at work
• turns out gluten free bread is not gross
• Switched to Sprouted Grain bread at home
• Switched to low-fat Swiss cheese

I only worked out 2 days. Gotta work on that. I might add it as a goal on my WW online tracker. (Doing it now....)

OK, did it. But had to set it up on SparkPeople account, which is fine. They are more fitness oriented than Weight Watcher which is mainly focused on nutrition. 

Not smoking cigarettes is going swimmingly. I've noticed a few of my smoking cues are going away, which is awesome. I don't even look around for my e-cig when I take the dogs out. No problems in the car. Clearly it is not over yet, but I'm winning.

Have not smoked for 12 days.

Backpedaled on drinking a little. No drinking on work nights. That's going fine. Not drinking as much either. I drank 3 beers last night.

Overall, I'm happy about my results last week. I was a little disappointed to only lose 2 lbs. after losing 6 my first week.  But it makes me want to try harder this week. 

Goals for this week:

• Work out at least 5 days
• Eat breakfast every day
• I still sometimes don't eat breakfast on my days off, so gotta get that one zipped
• Continue the micro-adjustments to my nutritional plan

I lost 6 lbs. Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday, 9/17/2014, Week 1

Weight 247 lbs.

I lost 6 lbs this week. That is awesome.

Still not smoking cigarettes, it's getting easier every day.

Weight Watchers is going really well. I find it really does help me. Their system is awesome because there's no forbidden foods, and some of my favorite foods are 0-point foods, so you're not hungry. You don't have to starve yourself. If you're hungry you can eat something.

And using their online tracking and goal setting tools is really great for me. It helps me to actually see what I ate and what it's impact on my overall nutrition was, and that helps me see where I can make healthier choices and still eat the meals I like. Plus, you also see the direct effect of exercise. Pretty much you get 1 point for every 5 minutes you work out or do cardio or any kind of active exercising. (Well, I think you get 2 pts for running.... yeah not yet.) Anyway, you literally see where your activity level is helping you.

Anyway, ok enough with the Weight Watchers commercial. LOL

Some ups and downs this week. I had a couple days where I really went over my points for the day, but I managed to stay on my weekly points overall. Still, a little lesson from that. It was my first week back on the program after all. And I still lost 6 lbs.

A few things I know made a difference for sure. I did not have homefries or french fries even once this week with my meals at work. I didn't drink. And, I cooked all of my at-home meals at home (didn't eat out or buy premade meals.)

I changed up a few of my work meals so I can still have them but they are better for me.

• switched to veggie sausage and cheddar on the eggwich
• no homefries / french fries / chips
• no cheeseburgers
• if I ordered a sandwich, I had it as a wrap, it's half the points

Not smoking:

My sense of smell is back, didn't realize I couldn't smell things before.
No more wheezing at night.
Still having coughing fits where I'm hacking up gross shit.
My lungs feel better, I can actually feel them feeling better.

My voice is coming back a little, still waiting on that one. Last time I quit smoking I remember all of a sudden having to clear my throat like 30 times in a row and afterward my voice sounded different to me for a day or so until I got used to it. And I noticed my singing voice came back very noticeably. I remember singing along to the radio in the car and being like, "OMG, I can hit that note again." So anyway, I'm looking forward to that this time.

Not smoking during the day at all at work, I don't think about it much even. I'm still using the e-cig in the car and at home a little. Still don't care about that. I'm really happy to be done with cigarettes. I had a landmark moment with it where I got in the car at the end of the day and was like, "Holy shit, I don't have to go to the store. I can just go right home."

I'm really surprised at how little I think about cigarettes. Even when I quit back in 2010 with the patch, like this time, I thought about smoking all the time. Now, I really don't think about it all day at work. I do go outside one time at the very end of the day with my e-cig. So I guess technically I am still "smoking." I don't care about that, I just want to be done with cigarettes. I barely use the e-cig too, I find myself holding it more that smoking it.

Didn't really exercise this week. I will change that today. I got my stepper out, it is sitting in the middle of the living room.

It feels good to be back on the wagon.

No Smoking Cigarettes Day 2

I can say overall I am a lot more testy and irritated by things today.

No problem at work again. Didn't even think about smoking most of the day. VERY end of the day I could feel myself getting really cranky though, and it was getting hard to control. At the very, very last of the day, I went outside with a co-worker and got my e-cig out of the car and sat with it (and her) for about 10 minutes.

Whatever. I made it through. Jury's still out on the e-cig. Also whatever, right now.

Not Smoking Day 1

First day not smoking went surprisingly well. I'm wearing a nicotine patch, so of course it wasn't horrible. Truthfully, barely thought about smoking once I got to work. Kept busy all day. 

It was very hard NOT pulling out a cigarette first thing this morning though. It was the first thing I thought when I woke up, "Oh god, really? Am I really gonna quit today?" I have a few cigarettes still in the pack from yesterday, plus a whole unopened pack. I could literally feel my hand reaching for them when I was rounding up the dogs to go outside. 

At that point I wasn't wearing the patch yet. I wanted to wait until after I took a shower to put it on. It was just that instinct to grab a smoke while I've got the dogs out. It's a good timer, too. 

Once I put the patch on, the cravings went away completely. It was just the habits that kept hitching me up. Putting a piece of gum in my mouth every time I get in the car helps. 

I did grab my e-cig on the way out of the house and threw it in the car with me. I puffed on it like 2 times in the car, left it there all day. Then on the way home a little and now that I am at home. But I find I'm mostly holding it, or hanging onto it with my teeth (it is too heavy to hold it like a regular cig on your lips.)

I don't know about the e-cig overall. But at this point whatever keeps me from buying a pack of cigarettes is fine. And the e-cig really is not the same. It doesn't feel like anything in my lungs the smoke is just vapor. Doesn't make me cough. I'll probably try leaving it at home tomorrow, cut out the car stuff altogether. 

At any rate, it went really well overall. I feel like the last 2 times I quit were practice. I keep remembering the stuff that worked and didn't work before. And the side effects. The patch is 21mg but that is only about 2/3 of what is in a pack of cigarettes, so there is still withdrawal. And the e-cig too is a much lower dose of nicotine. (Which is why I couldn't quit with the e-cig alone last year.)

Major Wake-Up Calls -- I'm Back

So, it's been about a year since I fell off the wagon.

Had quite a few wakeup calls lately.

First off, I'm getting too fat for my clothes. And I threw away all my "fat clothes" 3 years ago when I was down to 185 lbs. A good half of my dress shirts don't fit me, and some of my t-shirts and polos are getting to where my belly hangs out of them unless I wear a t-shirt under, tucked in. I've also noticed I'm starting to have trouble with my knees again, which is a sure sign I am packing on the weight. I've gained most of it in my belly, although my double chin is coming back too.

I weigh 253 lbs. as of yesterday. It's bad. My BMI 33.4.
14 months ago when I was at my best in terms of being on track, I was back down to 226 and 29.8 BMI, so I've put on 27 lbs. and added 3.6 points to my BMI. Meaning, I've been steadily gaining 2 lbs. a month. Overall, from my lowest adult weight in the spring of 2011, of 185 lbs. / 24.4 BMI, I've gained back 68 lbs.

Smoking...

I am quitting smoking tomorrow. I don't know why the hell I ever started again. I quit for 4 months in 2010, seriously why did I ever pick up a cigarette again?? I woke up last night in the middle of the night because I was wheezing so loud it woke me up. Today I will go get some nicotine patches. Tomorrow I will put one on when I wake up. Today is my last day as a smoker forever. I'm quitting for good this time. It will be the 3rd serious try.

... and drinking.

It is no coincidence that my serious weight gain directly correlates to the fact that my drinking has stepped back up to Good Old Days Levels almost. And the more I drink, the more I progressively give myself permission to -- meaning, the less and less I care about it. BUT, it isn't the Good Old Days any more, and I'm 42, and fat, and I smoke. Drinking takes a much heavier toll on me than it did back in the day.

In truth, I am considering going to an AA meeting. I don't want to drink any more. If I could just drink a beer or a glass of wine after dinner that would be fine. But I don't drink just one. I get drunk every time I drink. It's been very hard for me to consider even admitting I might have a problem. But yeah... the drinking is definitely facilitating my weight gain, and it makes me feel shitty, gives me problems sleeping, you name it. It's time to get that part of my life over with.

Today I re-joined Weight Watchers Online, and it was quite a wakeup call of its own. I went to the food tracker and entered a hypothetical day -- a typical day for me. And I found I was using ALL my points for the entire week, including DOUBLE the "indulgence free points" they give you, in one day. It really opened my eyes to how far off my nutrition plan I've fallen. It's not how much I'm eating, it's WHAT I eat.

So, I'm back on the diet. I hate the word diet, but I'm back. My nutrition plan just got yanked back into place.

What makes me so aware of all this all of a sudden?

I'll tell you:

My mother has been in the hospital for 8 weeks this coming Sunday. It's the longest she has ever been in, and she is very sick. She is sicker than when she had bypass surgery. Her diabetes is worsening. She had another heart attack and then another minor one since being in the hospital. She is so weak she can't adjust her own position in the recliner she is in. She can't go to the bathroom without assistance, including someone cleaning her afterward. She is on oxygen and nebulizer treatments. And she is so fat she can't get comfortable. She is 14 inches shorter than me, but weight 30 lbs. more than me. I don't have any idea how long she will have to be hospitalized and at this point the goal is to get her well enough to go to a nursing home. Yes, a nursing home -- my mother is only 62.

THAT IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME

Diabetes and obesity killed my grandfather too. That should have been a wakeup call. But seeing my mother that way really has been. In terms of my habits and eating patterns and lack of exercise and weight gain as I get older, I am living the EXACT lifestyle that brought all of this on my mother. I cannot let that happen to me. It is not too late, yet. 

Anyway, I'm going to start writing in the blog again. I hope you all will still follow me.

Some backslide

Ug. Some backslide.

I'm having a really hard time getting to the gym right now. I've only been once this week, and I feel like I'm not going to go today.... I still might. This blog entry might help. Might.

My work has gone wild. We are getting crushed every day, it's so stressful and hectic -- hectic doesn't even cover it, it's mayhem -- and I am so tired that even though I have been getting 8+ hours of sleep most nights, I am still just drained and weak and have no willpower.

I have the feeling like I only have so much bandwidth, and my job (I wait tables at a super popular breakfast restaurant for those who don't know... maybe strangers read this...) has expanded across my bandwidth to the point that it is taking up my social time and my personal time. I worked 13 hours yesterday. I was up at 6:45 am, out of the house by 8, and I wasn't home til 11:30 pm -- I went out for ONE DRINK, which I only halfheartedly applied myself to drinking. We were at Chummies maybe 20 minutes and I was all, "Um, yeah, I gotta go home."

I went to the gym AFTER work on Tuesday. Yeah no. Trying to go after work.... hell no. I've got to go in the morning when I'm still fresh and have a lot of energy from sleeping. I managed to fight my way through my workout Tuesday night, but it was awful -- and I usually enjoy it, even if it's hard to do..... No. So, I've got to get back on the morning workout schedule. Somehow.

And........

SMOKING.

Also related to stress I'm sure. About a week ago, I bought a pack of cigarettes. And another. And another..... etc.

The last two days I have forced myself not to buy any and I am back on my eCig, but I've still bummed a few off people. And today I am really feeling the nicotine withdrawal. I'm not flipping out because there is still nicotine in the eCig, but I am ... yeah, I'm feeling it. I just caught myself looking through the trash can for cigarette butts. Not good.

I'll get all of this settled again. And I'm trying not to make excuses. But I feel like it's not completely an excuse, on either count. The stress level at work right now is so high I dream about it, after falling into my bed exhausted every night. I don't even go out any more.

One up side, I guess. I am dropping weight on the scale. Stress diet. I know it's not ideal, but at least it makes me feel like I am makign progress on ONE of my goals.

maybe it's time to join a gym

OK.

So my elliptical is broken.

The bolt that connects the left pedal to the fly wheel is stripped, so bad they couldn't re-fit it at the auto shop. Plus, it is a "left handed" specialty bolt that basically can only be replaced by the company that makes the elliptical. I tried the electric tape around the bolt head thing -- nope, it held for about 10 seconds and slam it was off again. Blah, blah, blah, I could go on and on about how I've spent almost all of my day except when I was at work either driving store to store trying to get it fixed, or at home trying to McGyver it.... it's broken, that's that.

So -- do I, a) buy another one so that one can break too in 3 weeks, or b) buy an even more expensive one and hope it doesn't break, c) buy a different cardio machine, or d) say f--k it and go join a gym?

I feel like I am on a precipice where my whole fitness and health goals are about to fall apart. When it happened this morning -- like 90 seconds into my workout -- I felt so discouraged that right at that moment I said, "Fine, I give up. WTF?? Is fate against me??" I finally find the motivation to put serious dedication into working out, like legitimate working out -- including spending a significant chunk of money on home workout equipment..... I mean, really???? I swear it feels like one of those "well that's just how my life always goes" moments, you know what I mean?

In addition to this, I have also gained weight. Gained. I'm doing my elliptical 5-6 days a week for 30 min a day and I gained weight. Around 4 lbs., which is minor, but still, that combined with my elliptical breaking and I was like, "Are you kidding me? Is this really happening?" I just had that feeling, that sinking feeling in my chest, like no matter what I do it fails. I've done this right, all of it, by the book and I've applied myself to the point that I don't feel right unless I get my workout in. Really? Me? Kyle the Fat Kid needs to work out to feel ok?

Demons begone, right?

So throughout the day at work as I was mulling over the situation.....

I realized that I was going to do something about it. I'm not going to give up.

I went to Wal-Mart after work and looked at cardio equipment. And as I was looking at them, considering just saying fuck it and buying either another elliptical or bike or something, I kept thinking to myself, I should just buck up and get over my thing about the gym and go join the Y. I did talk myself into walking over to the DIY section and getting some McGyver materials before I just bought another one, so I came home with electric tape, galvanized wire and bungee cords. (None of that worked.) However, even before my attempted solution failed, I still kept having that back burner conversation with myself about the gym.

I just have issues with the gym. I feel so uncomfortable working out in front of other people.

But, I also think I can get over that. I've found that since I quit smoking, I can work out a lot longer and a lot harder and since I have been also doing strength training I can lift more. I think I will be able to just focus on my workout and not be so worried that I look dumb or people are staring at me or whatever. I also think that having a variety of equipment and training options and a fully set up gymnasium at my disposal would be awesome.

Anyway.... I think that covers it. I'm gonna mull it over for another day or two.

30 Day Report

Wow, I haven't written in 2 1/2 weeks.

Well let's see. July 1st has come and gone, so my 30 day trial run is completed. Really more like 5 weeks. I knew it was going to take me a full month to get a real sense of how I was going to make it work. And a couple times I have really felt like it was another false start, but instead I seem to have made it work.

I only lost 1 pound. However, in the course of the month I actually gained 5 lbs. over my starting weight, so I actually lost 6 lbs. but only a net loss of 1.

Smoking cigarettes: still quit and over the first serious almost-relapse, which I am pretty happy about. I've smoked a few real cigarettes (versus my eCig) over the month but each time it has tasted and felt disgusting to me and even though I smoked the whole thing, it reminded me how glad I was that I didn't smoke any more. I had one evening with friends and a few too many drinks where I had an evening long relapse. And after that, I think 3 days in a row, I smoked one real cigarette a day. This coincided with me having a little summer cold, and being extremely fatigued from an endless 2 weeks at work, and I was just so beat down and my willpower was wrecked, blah blah blah. Anyway, I said to myself, I feel like I'm gonna buy a pack of cigarettes. I have to deal with this. So, I whipped up some more backbone and just made myself stop. I'm back on the eCig all the time again. I do find I am smoking the eCig a lot less too, sometimes at home I go all night without thinking about it. The real cigarette incidents were just that, incidents where I buckled in a stressful situation -- work has been a shitstorm, and I was working with a cold through it. It was always at work. However, overall, I pronounce quitting smoking basically handled.

I have struggled with some real emotional sabotage from myself. It's very defeating -- for example -- to get on the scale after you've worked out every day and followed your goals, and find you gained 3 lbs. That was a hard one, there were others. Like the night I totally caved and gave myself permission to eat a meal and half worth of food at midnight. The day after that, I actually said out loud to myself, "That's it, I failed, right? It's over?" And also when I went 4 days without doing any cardio or weight training whatsoever; after that little episode, I felt really like, ok this is it, I'm off the wagon, I know what's gonna happen, oh well it was a nice try. Oddly though, it's like I could actually really feel it coming over me like a pall or a filter, and each time I just said to myself, No, that is not gonna happen. I've taken those little failures and managed to channel the negative energy into motivation to do it right, and it's worked.

Of course, I wanted to just magically waste away to 175 lbs. and equally mysteriously somehow develop a big, bulked up chest and arms. But it doesn't work that way. Over the month, I've seen the direct effect of even a minimal fitness regimen. On the weeks where I have been consistent in my workouts I've also noticed decreased appetite in general, better sleep, and stable weight loss. Duh.

I have started to see some differences in my body. Nothing photo worthy yet, but in particular, I have noticed that my ass is getting cuter, which for me means bigger 'cause I have no ass. Apparently I have some now, and I'm going to have more. And I have noticed my arms starting to get some definition, and I can feel that my pecs and lats are building, although it's not very noticeable yet, it will be. So actually, I have no idea how much weight I might have for real, because I am definitely gaining muscle. My legs, in particular my thighs, are also starting to get really defined -- I already had ok legs, but they are starting to look really fit even to me.

I bought an elliptical and it turns out I love it. Who knew jogging stairs was what would work for me? I can jog 6 mph on it with the tension 2/3 of the way up for 15 min already, and I've only been using it 2 weeks. The curve was almost straight up, too. The first day I used it, I only made it two minutes and I had to do it one minute at a time. But I was up to 20 minutes within a couple days, first 20 min in 2 sessions at a moderate pace, and by this week I was up to the hard jog for 15 min after a 5 min warmup. I think I can take it up to 30 min pretty soon. For whatever reason, I took to the elliptical naturally. In fact, I know I can take it to 30 min because I've done 45 a couple days in multiple sessions, but I set my goal -- 20 minutes at this point, and I try to consider anything I so over goal to be gravy.

Same with my weight training. I'm sticking to my goals with the free weights, they have stayed the same the whole month which is fine with me. I'm still having a hard time finishing the reps in some of the sets, so I'm staying put until the sets are too easy. However, I do also do a little bit over goal every day, and a couple days I've tripled my sets, but again, I treat it like gravy. I was wicked sore the next day, and I don't want to make myself so sore I can't work out. Any activity at all is more than I was doing before.

So, overall, in spite of some setbacks, in fact possible because of them, I think I am on the road to resetting my physical lifestyle. I'm very proud of myself that I have managed to incorporate breakfast back into my diet -- I have drank a fresh fruit smoothie every single day but one, and that day I was groggy and cranky and I knew it was because I didn't make my smoothie. And it has helped me to feel hungry ealier in the day too, because instead of my body just being in starvation / fasting mode, I can actually tell my stomach is empty and I'm hungry. Weird that eating helps you control your eating, right? It's weird stuff, and even though the info is right there everywhere you look, it never clicked in my head before like this. I've never succeeded at this for a whole month before. Like, I feel like I really am making a sea change in my life. My personality of course is still mine, but I have felt like I am changing who I am.

At this point I am willing to say, not only will I look good in a tight t-shirt, I'm gonna have a hot body. It might take me a year, in fact I planned it to, but yeah. Hot body.

Day 4

Day 4 has been really good.
Vegan diet, check.
No smoking, check.

I actually got up early and jogged a mile this morning. Yes, you heard me.

And I don't feel awful, in fact I felt happy and energized all day, I didn't even eSmoke as much. Also didn't drink as much coffee. Amazing. I thought I would be sore from exercise, not too bad actually. My pecs and lats are tender but not sore. What hurts like a bitch is the muscles in the front of my upper leg, above the knee-- those ones, from doing squats and lunges yesterday. Jesus.

Weighed in at 233.0, so I lost .4 lb., which is close enough to call it a half pound. Phew.

Managed 12 pushups, 15 sit ups, and did 15 min cardio jogging this morning.

I'm starting to get the gross, thick, nasty stuff up out of my lungs from not smoking. Today I felt like I'd smoked a pack of cigarettes yesterday. It's good, but icky. Pretty soon I'll start to get the throat stuff, where my voice cracks like I'm 11, but that is the really good stuff, means your vocal cords are starting to clear up. Even though some of it is a gross reality, I'm kinda looking forward to it, 'cause I remember it from last time, and I really liked it. And few things feel as good as a good throat clearing.

I think that covers it for today.

Day 3

Ug, weighed in this morning at 233.4, meaning I gained 1.8 lbs. Actually had to adapt my nutrition and fitness goals on SparkPeople because it caused my BMI to go up.

I have no doubt what caused the weight gain. It's called a "beer belly" for a reason. Not only did I drink with Lysa, I drank more when I got home and this also caused a lapse in the vegetarian diet too. Some late-night chicken nuggets with bbq sauce.

I really am going to have to eliminate alcohol from my diet.

OK. No more drinking at home. If I do drink, I will drink wine or hard liquor, not beer. And I will limit myself to 1 only. This goal applies for at least 30 days. We will re-evaluate then.

Doing really well on not smoking. No problems. eCig rocks.

Fitness for the day: managed 10 push-ups, 15 sit-ups and 10 minutes cardio jogging.

I feel frustrated today, but I managed to channel that frustration into some fitness work. I really want to see a weight drop. I know I am eating more because of not smoking, but it was really the booze plus the compromised willpower that led me to basically binge eat some chicken nuggets. OK, with ranch too, not just bbq.

It's only day 3. I'd like to at least get back down to my starting weight by Day 7, which was 230.6 lbs., which is 2.8 lbs. It's aggressive, and more than I would normally recommend losing in a week, but for the first week, sure a 3-5 lb drop would be nice.

That's it, I'm doing it. 230 lbs. here we come.

Day 2

Welcome to Day 2.
Weighed myself at 231.6, so I gained 0.8 lbs. which is negligible. Coming off a day of fasting., I'm surprised I didn't gain more.

Had NO problems whatsoever not smoking until the battery died in my rechargeable eCig. And I was supposed to go over to Lysa's house for our standing appointment, Sunday Happy Hour. And then I was all, Um, I can't hang. I gotta deal with this. So, I dashed off to the store and bought a disposable. I just knew -- we're gonna drink, I HAVE to smoke. So, I spent some moneny ($9) I didn't need to, but... then maybe I did need to.

Vegan Fast Day 2:

Just fine.
Breakfast: Vegan smoothie with 1/2 cup vanilla soy milk, 1/2 cup "green machine" fruit and veg green drink, 1/2 of banana, 1/2 cup fresh strawberries, 1 Granny smith apple, pureed.

Lunch: "Tofu Scramble" from work -- curry tofu, red and green peppers, onion, and I had them add sundried tomato, and put it in a spinach wrap, with 1/3 cup homefried potatoes on the side.

Dinner: Red and green bell peppers, broccoli, cucumber, white vinegar & table salt, hummus, wheat crackers, and fresh tomato.

"Snack": also drank 4 oz. Sauza tequila, 2 Corona and 1 tequila & ginger ale.

Not too bad. I went over about 110 calories overall, and I'm under on my protein by about 20 grams. Gotta find some more protein in my diet. But I knew I was gonna drink with Lysa so I budgeted. It's OK as long as I keep my protein high overall.

I'm finding (two days in with some time of preplanning...) that being vegan makes the protein intake harder. I'm not getting the protein I would normally be getting from dairy. Hm. With only 7 days on the vegan fast I'm not that worried about it, but if I were going to be vegan all the time it would be a concern. And it's worth looking into alternate high-protein sources.

Day 1

Me at 230 lbs. - June 1st, 2013

Well, here it is. Me shirtless.

Today is June 1st, 2013, I weighed myself this morning at 230.8 lbs.

Here's a little scoop: 

I said I was going to quit smoking by the time I was 40, which was last August. I'll be 41 on my birthday this summer.  I quit smoking for 4 months in the winter of '09-'10, and as soon as I picked it up again I said I would quit again, that was 3 years ago. Then this January, I saw this news story, from CBS about a medical study claiming if you quit smoking by age 40, you can reverse all of the health effects of smoking. And I thought, That's it, I'm doing it. If I quit while I'm still 40, I'm counting it. 

So, about 5 days ago I bought an eCigarette and started aggressively weening myself off tobacco. I smoked one final pack of cigarettes, 2-5 a day until they were gone. I knew I couldn't keep them and not smoke them, so yesterday I smoked the last 9 in the pack. I also went out for a beer after work and I smoked 3 of my friend's cigarettes too. So today, June 1st, is my first day entirely tobacco free. So far I've had no problems at all, a few mild cravings, but the eCig really does the trick. When I quit before I used the patch (transdermal) and it worked for me just fine, but I think I like the eCig even better because I still get the ritual of smoking, as well as the social aspect. And the eCig itself is a nice conversation piece. At any rate, yay me! As of today I am tobacco free.

I have also decided that I am going to be vegetarian again.

I was a vegetarian from late 1993 - sometime in 1999, I don't remember the exact time frame that I started eating meat again, it just kind of crept back in. Being vegetarian really agreed with me, and I took to the diet easily. I also lost a lot of weight on a vegetarian diet, which was the only thing that changed in my lifestyle at the time. Honestly, every time I have ever given consideration to losing weight, I have remembered that and said, "Gee, I should try that again." Well, duh. So, let's actually try it. Therefore, I decided that beginning today, June 1st, I am going to be vegetarian again. 

Technically I am a Flexitarian, which is a vegetarian who occasionally eats meat. Even when I was a "vegetarian" before, this is actually what I was. Then, I still ate shellfish and tuna, and once in a while bacon would be too much of a temptation to resist. This time, I have simply given myself permission to eat meat if I want to. I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

I have challenged myself to start off my vegetarian diet with a twist though. I've decided to try being vegan for the first 7 days. Overall, I am not willing to exclude dairy from my diet, but I like the idea of an all-vegetable fast to start out my new diet. Eating vegan for a week will give my GI tract a nice scrubbing.

Today was also Day 1 of what I am calling my "vegan fast." So far, I have eaten: coffee, 1 large Granny Smith apple, 1 cup of green seedless grapes, and 1 Amy's Indian Samosa Wrap. I felt very full after the meal, but now about 2 hours later, I feel hungry again. I am going to make myself a Boca burger wrap I think with lots of veggies and some rice.... or maybe barley, or a mix of both.

I skipped breakfast today, big no-no, and one I often commit. I vow to eat breakfast.

Still haven't done any cardio today, but as soon as I post this, I am going to do 15 minutes of Zumba on TV.

About coffee. I might have to start drinking it black again. I use low-fat non-dairy creamer and Splenda, but that creamer is still loaded with empty carbs, plus it has aluminum in it -- did you know, if you throw the stuff on a flame it will spark bright green? The Splenda I can probably still use. 

I try not to eat any white sugar. Many members of my family are diabetic, and I have seen some of the warning signs in myself. That is one of the big motivators that has made me finally take my health seriously. My grandfather was very sick with diabetes and it definitely was the main cause of his death, and my mother is diabetic as well. I don't want to be diabetic, and I realized that the only person who is capable of changing my lifestyle is me. So, here we are, blogging about it.