Monthly recap - lost 8 lbs - new goals

Today is two months (61 days) since I started tracking my weight, diet & exercise again. My current weight as of yesterday is 282 lbs., meaning I have lost 8 lbs. That's good. I'll take that. However, based on my goal of losing 1.5 lbs / wk, I am running behind. I should have lost 13 lbs. by now.

Hold up now! No one needs to jump all over me with t-shirt wisdom about accepting my journey or focusing on the positive of losing 8 lbs. I am very pleased to see my weight going down. And I have been walking every day and strength training at least 3x a week, and I can see positive changes in my body and in my health.

In fact, I was ecstatic to see 282 the other day because it is the lowest number I've seen in years, and I was already struggling with not seeming to be able to get below 283. I'd keep getting back down to 283 then seeing a higher number again the very next day. (Yes, I weigh myself every day, I don't care what they say about it.) I had a couple "regressions" this month -- some late night binge eating and some poor meal choices several days in a row and I actually saw my weight go back up to 290 last week, which was the trigger of one of those binge eating nights. (Also had some unwelcome stresses at work that I worked through with a pizza and a gallon of vanilla ice cream...) Then, after a couple days back on track nutritionally, and a little self control, and the scale started going the other way again. But I still kept getting hung up at or near 283, which was a weight I dropped down to very quickly right at the beginning, so it was already the bar so to speak. On weigh-in day this week I was still at that bar, 283. I was so disappointed, almost as much as the day I stepped on and saw that I was all the way back to ground zero at 290. So I weighed myself the next day, with grim expectations and instead got a jolt of happy adrenaline -- "Oh my god! 282!!" Nice. New bar set.

So I've lost 8 lbs. That's just under 1 lb. a week. That's ok. Losing 1-2 lbs. a week is the only realistic long-term pace. But I know I can do better. I can make my goal of 1.5 lbs. a week. I will be at 190 lbs. by my birthday NEXT summer. Losing 100 lbs in 15 months is possible. I will have to make up the 5 lb. deficit somewhere along the way.  It pushes my calculus up to needing to lose 1.6 lbs a week, or I might have another quick weight drop at some point. Or I could do a challenge this coming month and see if I can drop 12 lbs. That would be 2.7 lbs. a week. In those tiny increments it all looks so doable. If I stretched it over 2 months, that would be a fraction over 2 lbs. a week.

Ok that's talked through. So, let's say new goal: I will make up the 5 lb. deficit in no more than 2 months starting today. Meaning my weight by 9/20/17 should be 264 lbs. If I do it at an even pace, I should be at 273 lbs. by 8/20/17 (the day before my birthday,) which is a 10 lb. loss, or 2.25 lbs a week. I'll need to cut 1129 calories a day below my BMR to do that so.... 1935 calories a day. Ouch. But ok, I might be able to do that.

I also need to more aggressively pursue my fitness goals. Building muscle mass particularly at my age (45 next month) is the key to losing weight. Because my metabolism has changed as I get older, cutting calories and doing some cardio isn't enough. I have been backsliding a little on my strength training. The last two weeks I have gone down to every third day (two rest days) and a couple times it was every fourth day. Not good. I need to step that back up, starting today. Also because it has been disgusting hot and humid (truly it has -- 80% humidity and hazy hot sun) I have also been accepting rides home from work most days, so my walk has been cut in half. Gotta remedy that.

Alright. Time to get back on track.

July 20 - August 20 Goals:

Lose 10 lbs.: restrict calorie intake to 1935/day, lose at a consistent 2.25 lbs. per week
Walk to work every day, regardless of weather and walk home at least 3x a week
Strength training every other day, with one 2-day rest period allowed per week
Make a goal tracker for the wall at home that I check off daily

Weigh-In Wednesday - Lost 3 lbs, 14 lbs. total

239, lost 3 lbs., 14 lbs total lost.
Also took my measurements, which I am tracking monthly:

• Upper Arm: 15 inches, gained 2 inches around my bicep
• that's good, it means the free weights are working
• Chest: 44 inches, lost 3 inches around my chest - excellent!
• Neck: 17.5, lost 1/2 an inch around my neck
• that is good, but I knew it was going to be a small result; I tried on my one-time favorite, every-day worn necklace that used to rest in the hollow of my throat and it was almost like a choker. LOL I thought, "Oh damn, still got some work to do..."
• Waist: 50.5, lost 1.5 inches around my belly -- awesome!
• Calves: 16 inches, lost 1 inch
• my activity level has increased, so I guess my calves were fat.
• Thigh: 25 inches, lost 1 inch off my thighs
• BMI: 31.5, still too high, but that is a 1.9% LOSS, down from 33.4

So, the observation I've been making lately is actually true. I've been noticing that my pants don't ride down as bad the last week or so. My belly is so big it pushes them down unless I cinch my belt until it's painful. I used to do that, but I can't any more. Anyway, the last few days I've noticed a marked drop in how often I have to hitch up my pants, and after I use the bathroom and re-set my wardrobe, I noticed it stays fixed for longer, easier. 

I'm very pleased with that. I hate fidgeting with my clothes all the time. It makes me self-conscious.

Also, reached an awesome Milestone with Weight Watchers, my 5% weight goal, meaning I have lost 5% of my starting weight. 

The reason that screen shot is cropped so high is because I want to celebrate my weight loss and my happiness at the success. However, there was also a warning that I am "losing weight too fast." Weight Watchers doesn't want you to lose more than 2 lbs. / week, and my average is 3.5 lbs a week.

I did go under plan a couple days last week, only ate about half of my points. And I was very hungry the following day both times because of it. However, even that feels kinda good: I have to eat more because my weigh loss is too dramatic. 

Not smoking cigarettes is also going very well. This Friday, October 10th will be 28 days, and I will be moving on to Step 3 with the nicotine patches. 2 more weeks wearing a lower does patch, and then I am technically done with them. At this time, I am feeling I don't care if I wear a nicotine patch the rest of my life, I'm not gonna smoke cigarettes. 

However, it is also getting easier and easier every day. My lifestyle routines are really adapted to not smoking. I am still using my e-cig a little bit. I am going through 1 disposable a week, which is about the equivalent of 1 pack of cigarettes in terms of how long they last. I don't use it at all in the morning, don't even think of it, except as something that has to go in my pocket because I want to use it at the end of my work day. 

I am going to try to go off the patch obviously. But, I might keep some in the house in case I freak out and start considering actually smoking. That's more than 2 weeks away anyway. My body memory of smoking cigarettes is going away really fast, it will be very diminished by then.

I am also feeling like a million bucks. I've got more energy. My house is cleaner. I'm taking better care of my body. I am starting to look forward to exercising instead of it feeling like a chore. I'm so pleased with all of it, I am starting to trust that I am making a lifelong change. It's still all a work in progress, but I'm enjoying doing it.

Goals for next week:

• Stay on plan, including eating enough (oddly enough... LOL)
• Keep working on my physical environment
• I didn't realize how disgusting my house was and I'm busy, so it's taking some time
• Work out 5 days

Major Wake-Up Calls -- I'm Back

So, it's been about a year since I fell off the wagon.

Had quite a few wakeup calls lately.

First off, I'm getting too fat for my clothes. And I threw away all my "fat clothes" 3 years ago when I was down to 185 lbs. A good half of my dress shirts don't fit me, and some of my t-shirts and polos are getting to where my belly hangs out of them unless I wear a t-shirt under, tucked in. I've also noticed I'm starting to have trouble with my knees again, which is a sure sign I am packing on the weight. I've gained most of it in my belly, although my double chin is coming back too.

I weigh 253 lbs. as of yesterday. It's bad. My BMI 33.4.
14 months ago when I was at my best in terms of being on track, I was back down to 226 and 29.8 BMI, so I've put on 27 lbs. and added 3.6 points to my BMI. Meaning, I've been steadily gaining 2 lbs. a month. Overall, from my lowest adult weight in the spring of 2011, of 185 lbs. / 24.4 BMI, I've gained back 68 lbs.

Smoking...

I am quitting smoking tomorrow. I don't know why the hell I ever started again. I quit for 4 months in 2010, seriously why did I ever pick up a cigarette again?? I woke up last night in the middle of the night because I was wheezing so loud it woke me up. Today I will go get some nicotine patches. Tomorrow I will put one on when I wake up. Today is my last day as a smoker forever. I'm quitting for good this time. It will be the 3rd serious try.

... and drinking.

It is no coincidence that my serious weight gain directly correlates to the fact that my drinking has stepped back up to Good Old Days Levels almost. And the more I drink, the more I progressively give myself permission to -- meaning, the less and less I care about it. BUT, it isn't the Good Old Days any more, and I'm 42, and fat, and I smoke. Drinking takes a much heavier toll on me than it did back in the day.

In truth, I am considering going to an AA meeting. I don't want to drink any more. If I could just drink a beer or a glass of wine after dinner that would be fine. But I don't drink just one. I get drunk every time I drink. It's been very hard for me to consider even admitting I might have a problem. But yeah... the drinking is definitely facilitating my weight gain, and it makes me feel shitty, gives me problems sleeping, you name it. It's time to get that part of my life over with.

Today I re-joined Weight Watchers Online, and it was quite a wakeup call of its own. I went to the food tracker and entered a hypothetical day -- a typical day for me. And I found I was using ALL my points for the entire week, including DOUBLE the "indulgence free points" they give you, in one day. It really opened my eyes to how far off my nutrition plan I've fallen. It's not how much I'm eating, it's WHAT I eat.

So, I'm back on the diet. I hate the word diet, but I'm back. My nutrition plan just got yanked back into place.

What makes me so aware of all this all of a sudden?

I'll tell you:

My mother has been in the hospital for 8 weeks this coming Sunday. It's the longest she has ever been in, and she is very sick. She is sicker than when she had bypass surgery. Her diabetes is worsening. She had another heart attack and then another minor one since being in the hospital. She is so weak she can't adjust her own position in the recliner she is in. She can't go to the bathroom without assistance, including someone cleaning her afterward. She is on oxygen and nebulizer treatments. And she is so fat she can't get comfortable. She is 14 inches shorter than me, but weight 30 lbs. more than me. I don't have any idea how long she will have to be hospitalized and at this point the goal is to get her well enough to go to a nursing home. Yes, a nursing home -- my mother is only 62.

THAT IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME

Diabetes and obesity killed my grandfather too. That should have been a wakeup call. But seeing my mother that way really has been. In terms of my habits and eating patterns and lack of exercise and weight gain as I get older, I am living the EXACT lifestyle that brought all of this on my mother. I cannot let that happen to me. It is not too late, yet. 

Anyway, I'm going to start writing in the blog again. I hope you all will still follow me.

I've lost 2 inches off my belly

Good news.

I just broke my own rule and measured my belly NOT on the 1st of the month. (I am trying to only take my measurements monthly.)

Anyway, I was very pleased to see that I have lost a total of 2 inches off my belly circumference. And that means I've lost 1 1/4" since I last measured myself 3 weeks ago and had lost 3/4 of an inch. Which means it coincides with the timeframe that I got the elliptical and started serious cardio every day.

That's almost double the fat loss from dieting alone. 

 I think that was the final piece of the puzzle. That's some real, empirical proof that it's working. Ya know? I was starting to doubt myself really bad, like.... is it all in my head? Have I just convinced myself that it's working so I don't have to feel bad about failing? But no. It really is working. That's fantastic.

So that's it. Either today or tomorrow I am going to go join the Y.

New Challenge: the 10% Challenge

Well, let's talk about my overall goals.

My current weight and BMI: 230 lbs. / 31.2 BMI

My goal weight and BMI are: 175 lbs. / 23.7 BMI

That works out to a loss of 55 lbs., or 24% of my body weight and a 7.5 point reduction of my BMI, also a 24% reduction in my BMI.

I'd like to accomplish this overall goal in a year. That's a little more than a pound a week, which is a 500 calorie a day deficit.

That means every 0.55 lb. is 1%, which seems pretty manageable.

So, I think I am going to challenge myself to get 10% to goal. So that would be 5.5 lbs., which on my baseline plan, I should be achieving by Sunday, July 14th.

I think I'll see if I can get there a week early by July 7th.

So I need to lose 5.5 lbs in 27 days, which is 0.2 lbs a day or just under a pound and a half a week.   I would like to weigh in at 224.5 or less by then.

Day 3

Ug, weighed in this morning at 233.4, meaning I gained 1.8 lbs. Actually had to adapt my nutrition and fitness goals on SparkPeople because it caused my BMI to go up.

I have no doubt what caused the weight gain. It's called a "beer belly" for a reason. Not only did I drink with Lysa, I drank more when I got home and this also caused a lapse in the vegetarian diet too. Some late-night chicken nuggets with bbq sauce.

I really am going to have to eliminate alcohol from my diet.

OK. No more drinking at home. If I do drink, I will drink wine or hard liquor, not beer. And I will limit myself to 1 only. This goal applies for at least 30 days. We will re-evaluate then.

Doing really well on not smoking. No problems. eCig rocks.

Fitness for the day: managed 10 push-ups, 15 sit-ups and 10 minutes cardio jogging.

I feel frustrated today, but I managed to channel that frustration into some fitness work. I really want to see a weight drop. I know I am eating more because of not smoking, but it was really the booze plus the compromised willpower that led me to basically binge eat some chicken nuggets. OK, with ranch too, not just bbq.

It's only day 3. I'd like to at least get back down to my starting weight by Day 7, which was 230.6 lbs., which is 2.8 lbs. It's aggressive, and more than I would normally recommend losing in a week, but for the first week, sure a 3-5 lb drop would be nice.

That's it, I'm doing it. 230 lbs. here we come.