Monday, August 21, 2017

Monthly Goals Report July - Aug

July 20 - August 20, 2017

So here's the short of it:
Weight 278, meaning I lost 4 lbs., and 12 lbs since restarting. We're going with "that's good," in spite of it being only 40% of goal. Other measurements are pretty encouraging: lost an inch around my thigh, and half an inch around my neck, and gained an inch around my bicep. Here's the graphic:



My goals for this month were:

  • Lose 10 lbs (nope, lost 4, which would be under goal for a normal month... it's ok... I lost weight...)
  • Eat 2000 or less calories a day (adjusted up from 1930) -- did this 25 out of 32 days, and only went seriously over (2650 calories) 1 time
  • Walk to work every day -- nailed it, plus walked home a few times and went hiking, etc.
  • Track my calories daily / write down every single thing I ate -- nailed it
  • Strength train every other day with no more than one 2-day rest period a week -- nailed it, until last week when I fell WAY off the wagon, have only worked out once since last Thu

Soooooooooooo.........

OK, the good: I lost weight. Not only did I lose weight, but I seem to have broken through the 280-boundary that I was feeling stuck at. Just don't sabotage that and I'll be on track to keep losing. When I was first trying to lose and track my weight a couple years ago I was at 245 and feeling like I could never get back down to my goal weight (190) with so far to go. Now, I keep remembering, "OK, I can be smaller. I weighed 245 three years ago. I weighed 195 six years ago. I can get back there." Oddly enough I have one co-worker who keeps reminding me (and she didn't know me back then, which makes it even stranger, but more encouraging in a way) "It didn't all go on in a month, it isn't gonna come off that fast, either."

More good: I am very pleased to see that I have lost an inch off my thigh, and half an inch off my neck, and that I gained a whole inch around my bicep. Even though my belly and waist aren't much smaller (my pants still fit the same) I now see empirically that I am in fact losing body fat, and gaining muscle.

I hate to use an already overused cliche, but overall I am getting the feeling I need to "lean in" to this a little more. I made the broad-strokes changes, and after 3 months of tracking and learning from it, I think I see now where I can put more focus without screwing it up. Calories and fitness, of course.

I need to restrict my daily calories a little tighter without decreasing my food volume. If I feel hungry, I'm going to eat, that's all there is to it. I need to find some places to replace fat and carbs with fiber or protein. I was been causally / anecdotally testing the waters to see if I can get 50% of my calories from plant-based food, and I think I can do it... I might try that for the Aug - Sept month and see what happens.

I also need to work out a little more. I've adapted 100% to walking to work, it never occurs to me to take the car any more. (We'll see what happens the first time I wake up to 2 feet of snow...) And I'm doing ok on strength training, but I think I need to add a little more full-body exercise to my routine, make it a little longer, just do a little more. I'm not sure what. My current fitness routine developed organically, so I'm going to let this next step do the same. Goal for the Aug - Sept month will be to increase my workout time overall to 30 min, and include some new element, maybe HIT or maybe I'll give yoga another whirl (I hated it before, so..... that either means it's totally the right thing, or I was right and yoga is stupid... not sure which.)

I had a couple times this month that I was very discouraged and felt that familiar feeling like I was about to throw in the towel. Particularly when I just kept yo-yo-ing back up above 280, I just wanted to say fuck it and go bury myself in a pile of fried food and eat my way back to the surface with a side of mayo. But, I didn't. I'm not even sure how truthfully, other than every time it happened, that voice in my head would say, "No, this is not the end of the road. You are not going to quit. Giving up now means that other voice is right, and you really are fat and a failure." And somewhere I found the conviction to just move on from setbacks. I realize now that just because I don't make my monthly goal is not a reason to quit -- then I won't make any more goals. I hate failure. But I'm not going to allow it to make me turn back any more. Push through adversity. Be the boss I act like I am.

And remember the wins. I've lost 12 lbs. so far. I've lost an inch off my thigh and and half an inch off my neck and my muscles are getting bigger. My cardio conditioning is coming back really well, and I can tell I am getting stronger. I'm sleeping better and I'm in a better mood. I haven't had what I would classify as a binge in over a month, and my preference for healthy foods is increasing. I had a funny proof of that the other day -- I said, "I want Ranch dressing on my salad today, I'm gonna have it." And then, it tasted gross to me. So, there is positive stuff happening, I just need to keep working at it.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

2 Week Experiment

OK so I mostly discovered that weighing yourself twice a day and recording it to the 10th of  a pound makes you crazy.

As I said I was going to, I have tracked my weight every day AM & PM for the last 14 (15 including today) days. In that 14 days span, I actually gained 1.2 lbs. However, if I include today's weight of 278.8 (which is also my lowest recorded weight during the measuring period) I have lost 1.6 lbs., and 11.2 lbs since I started tracking again. I'm trying to focus on that number.

Here's the breakdown on what I discovered:

My weight fluctuated 8.4 lbs over the course of 2 weeks, with my highest weight being 287.2 last Sunday after a 2 day slug-binge-fest (first full weekend off in weeks -- excellent justification) and down as low as 278.8 two days before, coming into that weekend. So I packed on 8 1/2 lbs in two days. If that little snafu hadn't happened, I might have continued downward instead of having to fight my way back down.

I can't seem to break below 280. I'm stuck for some reason. I got to 279 / 278 four times but couldn't stay there. Every time I saw a 7 on the scale instead of an 8 I would get this spike of happiness, like  Holy shit I did it!! Then the next day.... boom! back up to 280whatever. It's infuriating. It's also very discouraging.

So we'll see what happens tomorrow. I have the day off today, so I'm going to try not to fill up on comfort food. I can't make any promises.

Here's the data from my experiment in charts:


And here's a graph of my daily weight and daily average weight:


Thursday, August 3, 2017

Weigh-in Wednesday: mixed results this week

Yes, I know it's Thursday.

So, mixed results this week. I actually gained a pound. I'm disappointed.

Blue Hill Mountain Summit via the Becton Trail, July 29th, 2017
However, I met my fitness goals (blew 'em out of the water, actually) and tracked my diet & exercise every day, and met my walking goal every day. Last Wednesday we went for a 9 mile hike on the Carriage Trails around Witch Hole Pond and the Paradise Hill Loop, and on Saturday we climbed up Blue Hill Mountain. I did not, however, meet my calorie goals; I went significantly over my calorie target two times this week.

And, obviously I did not meet my weight loss goal. In fact, having gained a pound when I needed to lose 2 to stay on track, I might have derailed my month goal of losing 10 lbs. I think I might be able to still meet my baseline goal of 1.5 lbs. a week, as long as I do 100% of my goal the rest of the month. But that will mean I still have to play catch-up next month to get back on track.

Witch Hole Pond, July 26th, 2017
I need to look deeper into what is happening with my weight. I feel like I keep losing and gaining the same 10 lbs. over and over again. I can't seem to get below 280, except for literally one day last week I was 279, and then by mid-week I saw 286 one morning and was like, "Fuuuck. I'm not gonna get to 278 by Wednesday, am I?" On the one hand, I have been working out, walking every day, and we did a couple very strenuous hikes this week -- and I can feel that my pecs and biceps are getting bigger, so possibly it is partly muscle gain. But that isn't all.

I am going to start recording my weight twice a day for a couple weeks and see if I can see a pattern, because I feel as though I perceive one. Like... my weight always seems to bottom out around Tuesday or Wednesday then I always seem to pack on 2-3 lbs. over the course of the week, sometimes I see half-day spikes like 5 or 6 lbs. It's like there is some critical mass I am stuck at. (Yes, I know body stasis is a real thing.) Then, I have a scale-panic and restrict my calories way back for a couple days and voila! I'm back down to 280-281..... So, I need to start tracking my weight closely for a bit and cross reference it with my diet and activity level. I need to see things empirically for myself.

Anyway. It was a mixed bag this week. My focus for next week is going to be to buckle down and just meet my daily goals every single day and hopefully at least salvage my baseline.