You get up, you get back on the horse

OK, so of course I had to go and brag about how I'd gotten my night eating under control. Then last night (including alcohol) I ate 3161 calories after midnight and then went and passed out. Woke up 6 lbs. heavier this morning. 6 pounds.

I know I didn't actually gain 6 real pounds, it's water retention and a couple pounds of food still going through my GI tract, but I can pretty much guarantee tomorrow I'll see the actual net gain from it, which will probably be a pound or even two.

I've had an interesting week. From the combination of tracking my calories / eating and holding to my no night eating rule I observed something amazing: as long as I didn't eat at night, like no later than 7 or 8 pm, I lost weight every day. It almost didn't matter what I ate during the day within reason, as long as I didn't eat too late into the evening, I was consistently dropping .5 to 1 lb. a day.

I also observed that on the days I "did it right" and ate the most of my calories, protein, carbs and fat early in the day, and focused on high fiber and complex carbs later in the day, it was much easier to control the urge to eat at night, and easier to make the right choices if I did eat anything. It made it sink in a little more the actual importance of eating when you're "dieting" -- it's not a "diet" if it doesn't include food. Starving yourself by skipping meals or excessive fasting, coupled with infrequent huge meals (usually two a day, right?) makes your body go into a low-level shock because your hypothalamus starts sending out survival signals to your body, triggering fat-generation mode. It really is really bad, a total "diet" killer. Your body is capable of converting almost any nutrient into fat to store the nutrition. Eating more frequently, and eating most of your protein, carbs and fat early in the day keeps your body fed and lets your metabolism work right.

I had an object lesson this week in how well it can work, and how ugly it can be when you fall off the wagon. 6 pounds worth of a lesson. I was horrified when I got on the scale this morning.

I have stayed on track with my fitness goals though. Interestingly even on the days I went a little retrograde in terms of my nutritional plan, I still got my cardio and weight training done. I have done one or the other every day, and both every day about 2 out of 3, not bad. My pecs and my deltoid and tricep are the ones that hurt. I have a pretty decent bicep, always have, although it has been way better before. And you really have to tighten up your tricep or you can't really see the bicep definition, and the tricep is where you get the grandma wing. I'm starting to see and feel a positive difference in my upper body, both in strength and in muscle shape, and it's very encouraging. It makes me actually like the burn. "That pain you feel today is the strength you will feel tomorrow."

Anyway, it's been a mixed bag this past week or thereabouts. Overall, I had a great week, stayed on my nutritional goals, got my fitness goals in every day, but then I really crashed & burned yesterday. It was not even a backslide, it was a total reversion. I didn't eat all day, then at about 4 pm, I ordered way too much food out after work, then starved myself again for almost 8 hours and ended up eating directly out of the refrigerator at 12:30.

I choose to take it as a lesson. I try to focus on the successes, and there were plenty, particularly in getting to the top of the curve on understanding and internalizing it all. Every failure I've experienced so far has served to reinforce why I need to do this. For some reason, I've been able to see why each failure has happened and what the consequences were, and channel my disappointment into motivation to do it right. It's working, but every time I have a bad day I really have to work through it with myself and keep reminding myself it's just a setback, not the end of the plan. You get up, you get back on the horse.

Lean meat protein returns

Interesting.

Well, I ate a beef burger yesterday at work. Here's why:

On Day 8, the first day of being off my vegan fast, I was really excited to be able to eat some cheese. So, I had a veggie burger with cheddar. And a side of mayo to dip my fries in. I know, I know, we'll talk about that later.

I was so disappointed, I almost tossed the whole thing in the trash can.

I don't know what I thought a slice of cheese was gonna do for me. I guess I thought it was going to transform my veggie burger into a Big Mac or something. No such luck, it was still a veggie burger. And I mistakenly told myself, It's because I wanted it to be a beef burger.

So, yesterday, 3 days later, I finally said, Screw it, I'm having a burger. It's a big flex, but whatever.

Again, I was so disappointed I almost dumped it in the bus tub. And, the taste of the meat actually repelled me a little. Not to mention also that in an 8oz. lean ground beef patty (like ours at work, which are 85/15 Angus beef -- good, lean beef) there are still 700 calories. Yes, 700. But, really I don't care about that as much as how disappointed I still was, just as disappointed as I was by the veggie burger.

So it forced me to think about it. Why? Why so despondent after my favorite splurge meal: a burger and fries?

I've realized now, today what it was. The vegan fast followed by remaining primarily vegetarian has caused me to eat so differently, and to enjoy such different foods, that chomping down a burger was just that, slurping down some high carb, high fat, work-crash food. There isn't much taste variety, not a lot texture, and the "flavor" really comes from the salt I shook all over it.

I think if I am going to "flex" again, it will be for fish or chicken. I do feel that I need some lean meat protein in my diet. The one positive I have experienced from eating that burger yesterday is that I did feel a lot more satisfied with my overall food yesterday, fuller, more satisfied, and I was able to control my night eating better. And I know it is from the added fat and protein I got from the beef. I just didn't like the taste, and ground beef of course is not exactly the best nutritional choice.

I am going to make a rule I think, that lean meat protein -- fish, chicken or turkey, is allowed in my diet no more than one serving a day. For the last two weeks I have struggled to get my protein values fulfilled, and it has caused me to go over on my carbs and calories a few times trying. Whereas... yesterday with 8 oz. of beef, I hit my protein goals for the day easily, over in fact, but not too bad. I am not only trying to lose weight. Muscle mass is part of my plan -- nice chest = nice pecs, which really means strength training, and protein is critical for that.

So, yes, some lean meat protein is going to come back into my diet.